About Change:
Buddhist philosophy is clear that the only event we can be sure of in life is that everything will change. If you stare at the abyss long enough, life, time, and events will prove this true.
The earlier in life you adjust to this looming rule, the softer the adjustment and the colder the surprise. There is nothing you can do about it. You were poor, now you’re rich; you were rich, now you’re poor. Kant’s Hegelian thoughts about these, antitheses leading to synthesis, come to the forefront. This is another example of how change is an intrinsic part of the anatomy of the cosmos. Let’s go molecular. Everything seems to vibrate; therefore, it’s safe to say that this perennial vibration is a motion of constant change.
To like or not to like these changes and how they affect us and our world is the quest that humanity and the animal kingdom try to conquer.
How we manage change can be, and maybe is, the most crucial element of our well-being. The other most important element, sitting right next to our ability or inability to handle change, is fear and what we do about fear. Changes seem to sit on the right of our events, while fear sits on the untrusted left, leaving our right hand free to attack it when necessary. Fear requires a sharp mind and eye to control it.
The act of living is similar to an accountant’s profit and loss statement. Your intellect and preconceived ideas place each situation where you judge them to be correct. You loved your husband. He died. It’s a loss to be placed on the minus side of your profit and loss sheet. You hated your husband. He died. You place the event on the plus side of your spreadsheet.
Big changes. Small changes. Large fears. Small fears. If you start early in life, realizing and adjusting your mindset to the inevitability of change and fear, when they do happen, you will be better prepared to cope. You want to develop coping mechanisms. Every possible outcome to all your decisions needs to be played out in your mind before you make a move. Locking your hormones away can be a serious challenge since our biology wants to control us. Lust, hidden under the disguise of eternal love, pushing the species to reproduce and survive, will kidnap your freedom and your life. To enter this agreement free and willing is very different than engaging in any life-altering, time-consuming commitment without the awareness that your brain is swimming in hormones compelling you to do that which it wants you to do. If you go for the ride, you will get lost.
The deterrent to the wrong turns, the bad decisions, and their consequences is what we offer children and pets when they are out of control. You need a “time out” and time away from the meteor that is about to impact your life. Time to reflect and a serious attempt to see the future, if and when you agree to the hormonal demands. Peace needs to be achieved with the outcome of the decision.
Everything will change. How the chips fall in our balance sheet can be influenced by us only if we pay attention. Otherwise, we are biology fluctuating on the universe’s petri dish.
About fear. It’s the remnant of our location on the food chain. We are the most dangerous animal roaming this planet. Which other species kill each other nonstop? I often wonder if we hate ourselves and murder, or watch murder happen as sport, based on self-hatred. Answering that question is close to impossible. Based on our position on the food chain, we should feel safe from being hunted, but we hunt each other, so our fear quotient is rightfully very high. Children in grade school are activating their fight-or-flight instincts, just as they are leaving their toddler age. The adults talk and watch. Is this situation biological, societal, or individual? Maybe it’s all the above. Change and fear are coexisting very comfortably, and thinking has left the building. Humanity appears to be reacting to life changes and life events without acting upon them. Everyone seems compelled to accept unacceptable changes, maybe out of fear of retaliation, or is it just an ocean of indifference?
The next generation needs to be taught to teach themselves how to think logically. Accepting the AA motto of “accepting that which you cannot change” needs to be kicked out of our mindset and get with changing what you want changed. Compliance is acceptance. Acceptance without fight or flight kicking in is self-destructive.
There is no hell. There is no heaven. For both of us, you and me, only this infinitesimally small spot exists in our allocated spacetime. Why waste it? Our insignificance, other than to ourselves, is mind-bending. I keep thinking that art will save us.
Thank you for reading.
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