The Names of Wines.

If you’ve lived a long life, which has been good and bad, since there appears to be no other way, you take joys where you find them. The recent pandemic took my love for driving from me yet delivered a new form of my love of food through online shopping. 

Fast driving a sports car while feeling the road through your body is exhilarating. Nature is rightfully in an uproar, bringing category 5 hurricanes, level 6 earthquakes, and other forms of famine to my neighborhood, demolishing most roads and leaving crater-sized holes that would swallow my little sports car. So my car sits peacefully in front of my house while I pay for a driver. Not bad  once you decide to go with the flow. 

When human contact became dangerous, supermarkets were targets for deadly covid infections, and I became nutty about how people wore their masks below their noses, about how people stood too close to me. My genetic self-preservation gene came to life in full force. Luckily for my sanity, one of my supermarkets opened an online alternative for the kooks like me. 

I can now seriously compare prices. Looking at mops has become a joy. Yes, the older I get, the weirder I get. Just a moment ago, I was looking at wines to add to my next grocery adventure, and the names of the wines made me smile. What makes a person name their brand “Menage a Trois”? Does that come from experience or wishful thinking? What will the guy who delivers the groceries think of me? Does he speak French? I guess perception is everything when marketing is involved. If you purchase a wine called Menage a Trois and drink it alone, what does that make you? Lonely or daring for wishful thinking? If you serve Menage a Trois for dinner company, will it be considered an invitation? Does the actual wine have relevance in reference to its name? So many questions. So few answers. At a restaurant, is it cool to ask the waiter if they carry Menage a Trois? Make sure to say “wine” after you mention the name of the wine, or she/he may get confused. 

There is also Coral Ethical wine available on my supermarket’s internet store. Who wants to drink ethical wine? What does ethical wine taste like? Sour grapes? Judgement grapes? My vote is for Menage a Trois. 

19 Crimes California wine makes me wonder about precisely 19 crimes. Why not 20? Why stop at 19? What were the winemaker and the marketer thinking when they chose this name for their precious product? That in the middle of the night, somewhere, a crazy woman in love with internet supermarket shopping would focus and wonder about their 19 crimes. Maybe I’ll buy a bottle or two. Ah , but Meange a Trois calls me! 

Fin del Mundo Malbec is all about the apocalypse. End of the world, Malbec. How do you sell a wine that reminisces about the end of the world? Considering what is going on in our world I just may have to buy a box with 24 bottles. Ah, but Menage a Trois calls me!

Another wine, which I picked at random. Oops Carmenere Merlot! Opps would stand for a mishap. Carmen is a name usually used for women, although I’ve met a man named Carmen. The balance of the word Carmenere is ere, which is close enough to the Spanish word eres, translated to ‘you are.’ Carmenere could mean to the winemaker and the marketer, ‘You are Carmen.’ To buy or not to buy “Oops are you Carmen”? My money is on Menage a Trois. 

Menage a Trois wine is now safely in my internet shopping cart. I’ve convinced myself to try it. The wine or the menage? Oops. I’m not Carmen. 

This has been fun. For me, anyway. Maybe I should look into the names of …..

Thank you for reading. 

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