Recently, someone who I never would have imagined confided to live in constant fear. A silent, never-ending fear. The sound of the phone ringing brought thoughts of possible disasters about to be told. This confession and the intensity of it shocked me. Then I turned the flashlight towards myself and tried identifying specific moments throughout my day when I also felt the cold hand of fear grabbing at me. And there they were, right out in the open for me to see, my own fear. These stings of fear question everything with a hue of darkness. These fear pods steal our peace and tranquility. Someone once said that we have nothing to fear but fear itself, and the truth of this statement has just now opened up to me. I knew no fear. What has changed? I need to know. This stench of fear explains too many things, so many changes taking place lately. Peaceful sleep has become a thing of the past. Shootings and murders and storms, hurricanes, earthquakes, famine, and disease leave us untouched. Where is the horror for each event? Has this required reaction metamorphized into these pods of fear that now own us? We may have been numbed into submission, and our unconscious is singularly and collectively responding, reacting with hidden fear looking to get out.
I speculate that fear is born from the loss of innocence. The innocent are free to feel, create, enjoy, and hope. Once the innocence balloon takes a hit and slowly but surely leaks all levity, we are left with this reality that haunts and damages our souls. Once the innocence has worn off, we only hope to regain it. We live in apathy, knowing too much about what our lives are and where they are headed. This biting fear is not to be confused with depression. We are a society living in terror with no idea what to do about it and how to fix it.
Solving everyday problems takes forever because our automatic button is held back by this fear that consumes us. Quick responses to simple tasks have become cumbersome and interrupted. This has become a life-stealing condition of our existence, and we all have it silently. Would it be best that we never talk about this? Keep it hidden, maybe? Well, the cat is out of the bag and will not jump back in.
When and how did this feat-thing start? What a useless emotion. Be gone, fear, be gone. So now I watch my reactions and swat away any fear pods like annoying fleas. This must be how dogs feel shuddering in terror during the Fourth of July fireworks. This fear is a societal fear. It collectively embraces us and makes us shudder in our sleep.
In conclusion, maybe we fear because we are taught to. People in fear are easier to control. An alternate reason for our fear is that we have awakened to the reality that surrounds us. Our blinders are off, and the devastation that surrounds us is within plain sight. Attempting to understand and define this fear is important since how else are we going to tackle it and overcome it?
Aside from being a recipient of this fear bug, I am no expert on the subject, but it needs to be discussed out in the open. Again. How else can we regain any semblance of control and peace in our lives?
Is fear similar to or even equal to pain? Pain serves an important purpose in our lives since it alerts our minds that something life-threatening is happening in our bodies and our biology. Without pain alerts, we could bleed to death, unaware of the problem.
This this fear we are carrying another type of alert of something we haven’t yet identified? All I have are questions, but the unending fear is real.
Thanks for reading.
I
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